I am totally behind on housework around here. My tub is growing mold, I have a pile a mile high of clean and dirty clothes on the chest in my room, my kitchen is overflowing with dishes from last night, and the bunny cage is filthy. So, I've declared it a Teacher Work Day around here. It's our short school day anyway because we spend our afternoons at the park and some Tuesdays I make it our home ec day. Lately though we've been doing regular school on Tuesday because we've needed to. We need to today too since we have field trips the next two days but oh well. I need to get this house in order or I'll have a big ol' freak out and that's not fun for anyone. Speaking of big ol' freak outs--I am trying to keep from having those with my children. I learned so much last year when I read, "Have a New Kid by Friday." I still am using what I learned in that book but I was very convicted by a blog post I read today here. I have done my share of yelling in my life and although I am better I still do it sometimes. I am determined to really work at not doing this. That's where I need your help. I need some ideas for creatively correcting my children--Hannah specifically. As she enters the tween years and trying out some new behaviors with me that I am definitely not happy with. In my opinion she is too old to spank and my words seem to just make it worse when she's in a mood. So--any advice for a smart mouth? arguing? bossiness? complaining? Help me out here people!! I am looking for specific corrections so that when she talks back or smart mouths I can just mete out the consequence and move on without getting either of us riled up.
Well, I am off to whip this house into shape so that I don't freak out.
9 comments:
Hey, Tiffany. I feel your pain, girl. Love the post you linked to as well. It is so true! Anyway, I know we're dealing with some of the same issues...my son is so passionate about things that many times I just have to remove him from the intense situation we're in...for the betterment of both of us. Stepping away and regaining perspective on right and wrong seems to help him. I do tell him the consequence and make him aware of his actions...if you speak to me again in a disrespectful manner, your computer time will be gone for today. If it happens, boom. Correction given. I'll try to send some more ideas that seem to work for us to you. Nip it now is my motto!
We had our "teacher work day last thursday" to clean house. I function so much better with a clean house. If only I could just keep it that way :) I can't wait to hear more creative correction replys...I need all the help I can get. John has been in time out 4 times this morning...arrgh. I am working on not yelling too..somedays are better than others :)
My favorite parenting helps come from Ginger Plowman and the Wise Words for Moms chart. I still use it a lot. Even as the girls get older.
I tell Sasha that his smart mouth tires me so that I need his help to complete my chores. I have found that at times he argues for arguments sake - even taking both sides of an argument at different times. I try to work at not buying into his crazy teenager world - just assign more chores. My friend, Sherry, assigns nasty chores for nasty smart mouths - your decison as to what nasty is in your house. The chores include cleaning a dirty microwave or trash can, etc.
Or, you could just stop reading Christine's blog. ;)
ditto on the Wise words for mom chart. I too am a yeller at times. today i was just so disappointed in my children that i could not say anything and sent them to their rooms w/ no dinner. but...i didn't yell. Madison and i have a ping pong journal that we communicate through. she writes me about issues (ping) and i write back to her (pong) that way she can "talk" with me important things even when i am busy so she has her voice.
yep... yeller here too. What a great link, convicting (which can be good!) I got better as the years went by but, especially during "that" time, I still have to really watch myself. And it shows in some of our responses to each other too. The boys work me up quicker than my daughter but I think it's because there's 2 of them and sometimes I "feel" I have to squash them quickly or they'll just run over me but you know what? I have two 17 year old teen boys who love and respect me, care what I think, will hug and still talk to me about personal things... I don't give them enough credit quite frankly. I think the best thing is consistent consequences... whatever that may be in your home... and lots of communication. I find myself most frustrated when I KNOW I haven't been consistent with them... I remember my Dad telling me "if I give an inch, you want to take a mile!" and it sure seems that way sometimes! My daughter doesn't give me much trouble but I have to get onto her because she tends to take the "mama" role with the boys which irritates to no end... she's a born nanny.
Hey -- that was a great link. THANK YOU! (I was talking excitedly... not yelling )
So -- tori tried talking back to me a last year. I noticed it happened after she had spent a considerable amount of time with some friends.
I said, "OK - no more sitting with friends at church... no going to friends house and no having them over." 6 months I said at first... because I was MAD. After several week of that and a noticed improvement, I told her she could make an appeal. She chose not to, because her friends were getting her in trouble. After 6 months of having to really monitor her behavior she has learned not to be snippy. That seems like a long 6 months. But it will be a short time 6 years from now.
No advice for you, but that is a good book. I spent 4 hours in my kitchen last night. Just doing dishes and cooking supper.
Thanx for the link to that post! I have been yelling A LOT lately and I needed a little wake up call! Could you take theater time away from her as a consequence? Just a thought cuz I know it's important to her.
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