Before you read this...I am so confused about whether to share this or not...it is not my intent to stress anyone out or lay a big guilt trip on anyone. Goodness knows, we are all probably pretty good at doing that to ourselves. But, this is some good food for thought and it really excited me about trying to change some bad habits and really be a focused mom. So, read it if you are interested but feel free to skip this one too! :0)
Okay, I know I won't do this topic justice but it has been requested that I blog about it so here goes. I got a little pamphlet from www.homeschoolhowtos.com titled, "The Power of a Focused Mother." It was just the thing I needed to hear. These days I regularly complain about not ever having enough time to do all that I want and need to do. I have a long list of things I want to do and not many of them include my kids or taking care of my home. I have let the computer become a huge distraction in my life spending at the very least an hour a day reading and writing e-mail, reading and writing blogs, and checking Facebook continually. Renee Ellison (wrote the pamphlet) calls this "over relating" and I think she hit the nail on the head. I really think if you are interested in this topic you should order her pamphlet, it's only $2.50 and you order it as an e-book and read it on the computer or print it out. Super easy. I'll use bullet points to tell the things that really got me personally--
- She started off talking about how important a mom is, even if you are a terrible mom, you are a mom and mean THE WORLD to your kid. Just being there is huge for a child. Then when you focus on being a mom and purposefully be a good mom and an involved mom--your power of influence over that child is out of this world.
- There is much to "nobly" distract a mother these days but while she is unendingly preoccupied, her children are silently losing important pieces of thier childhood.
- We are trapped in externals--our looks, our house, living for happenings, movies, comings and goings, living for others outside the home, making $. In the meantime, the days march inexorably onward. Children grow up, day in and day out without a mother's loving, focused attention.
- If the enemy cannot physically remove a mother from her children, he will distract her and preoccupy her day after day until childhood is over (ouch!).
- Your little child's chatter about a pet frog today becomes more crucial conversations tomorrow. If you don't care about the pet frog the child will assume you don't care about the other more crucial things as well.
- When you are always on the computer, on the phone, with other people, etc. your child gets the message that everyone else is always more important.
- Focused motherhood means having a high view of your own God given worth and of the high role God gave you in your family. As a mom, you just have to be there. You have great value to your child. Your existence makes his days go better. Determine to BE their mother, don't be always somewhere else in your thought life or activities. Be there!
- During your child's childhood you have the opportunity to fashion your own future best friend. If you invest a great deal in your children, you will WANT them for your friend.
- Daily you choose whether you want to be onstage with your children, or lost in the audience somewhere, distracted, forever talking to a friend.
- You can't know how big an impact you will make on your kids, not until heaven but believe it because God tells you in His word to do it. Begin to beam more and more love upon your children.
- Smile! Smile at your children, a warm, endearing smile. Smile in the middle of jobs, tasks, and undertakings. Smile at your shy child, smile at your noisy child, smile even more at your most difficult child. Each of your children know, deep down in their soul, that if they are not the apple of their mother's eye, they can't hope to mean much to anyone else.
- Put on a caring attitude and cheerful spirit around your children. Fake it at first if you have to.
- Childhood is a hundred yard dash across time. Their eyes are open and their hearts are open to you today, but for only one short chapter. The time of influence is now. Every day counts.
- Stop spreading yourself too thin. Say no. Superwoman myth is dead.
Those are the major things I highlighted. There's a lot to think about. I know that most of you if not all of you (not sure who all reads this) are already a focused mother and loving your kids by being home with them and spending your days with them. For me this hit home because although I am here and with my kids all day I spend way too much time overrelating with the world via the computer and not enough time giving my kids my undivided attention. This time with them is so short compared to my life span. I have to remind myself that if the good Lord so desires to give me long life I will have more than enough time to do all that I want to do and more. Now, I'm off to pick up the house so that I won't be preoccupied or distracted once the kids get home (Ollie took them to the library show and I have a blessed hour alone!!!).
