Words of Wisdom for Traveling With Small Children

After two weeks, 54 hours logged in the van, and almost 3000 miles us girls (Marissa, Shelly, and I) have gained some valuable tools for surviving a road trip with children. Of course I want to share all our wisdom with you. So, in no particular order.

• You must have a sense of humor and a willingness for adventure. At one point when we were going in figure eights through downtown Cincinnati (the 'hood) compliments of the GPS that was trying to lead us to the highway--Shelly and I were getting really goofy and laughing really hard about something (can't remember what now). Joe said, "why is this trip so funny to you guys? My answer--"honey, if we don't laugh, we'd probably cry.


• Definitely choose to travel with two vans, ten kids, and three mommies in the dead of WINTER. Why go when it's sunny and nice? It's much more adventurous to brave potential snow and ice and to freeze your tushy off everytime you have to exit the van. You also have to pack about double the stuff when you travel in the winter--coats, hats, gloves, scarves, boots, sweaters, and blankets. This makes it much more of a challenge to pack the van but provides extra padding in case of an accident. Also, the more tightly packed in you are the less likely you are to be able to move out of your seat and get hurt in an accident.


• When unloading a van with ten kids in a busy parking lot continually shout, "hand on the van, hand on the van, hand on the van." This is so 2 out of those 10 kids will actually hear and obey you.


• When it's about 8 at night and you are trying to feed nine kids and refuse to be hassled by taking orders--order one of each thing from the McValue dollar menu and randomly hurl each item into the back of the van. Each child eats whatever they get hit with. Or you can do what we did and order 9 $1 double cheeseburgers with only ketchup and "take one and pass it around."


• DVD players are a MUST and should be kept running at all times with never a delay. If the movie is a musical and you feel the urge. Find something that resembles a microphone (like a Frappucino bottle) and sing along like nobody's business. LOUD. "Annie" is an excellent musical to try this with.


• When it comes to choosing the next DVD, we took a sweet little saying from preschool, "You git what ya git and ya don't pitch a fit." It's always Mommy's choice. Always. No opinions from the backseat.


• Lots of coffee!!!


• If you really want to make good time put off lunch until you find a Chick-fil-a with a playplace no matter how long it takes. Even if lunch doesn't happen until 3.


• Once you get to Chick-fil-a make sure you tell the kids no that we are all stopping at the bathroom FIRST. Especially if you've not stopped for the last 2-3 hours because you are sure that at the next big exit there will be a Chick-fil-a. Shelly and I preferred an alliteration for this little talk. "Potty before you play, you must produce pee." Repeat a few times for effect.


• If you can't find a Chick-fil-a or a McD's with a playplace. Go to Steak 'n Shake! They have great hats.


In this picture I am wearing the sweatshirt that I mentioned before and threatened to take home. I want you to know I am not stealing it--just borrowing and I have permission!


• When you've been traveling for who knows how many hours and you are taking a little too long at the gas station pump and some teenybopper girl hardly old enough to drive a car stares you down...as you leave make really hilarious faces at her.


• If you have gas and you are in the van with all the kids and you can't roll down the windows because they don't work--hope that your co-pilot has gas too and agree to just blow each other out if necessary. Thankfully both pilots who were potentially in this situation never had to use their "guns." Luck maybe?


• When kids are asking for snacks and other things continually and all you have done is honor requests and answer questions for an hour you absolutely must--"Close the kitchen." A large blanket works well for this. You know the saying, "out of sight, out of mind." This is what that looks like:
  


• When serving lots of kids lots of snacks, "tram bowls" come in handy. These may look like regular plastic bowls but they earned the name "tram bowls" on this trip. On the way up I was telling Shelly some story about a tram and was interrupted by a request for a snack. I then asked the kids to pass me their "tram bowls." Hence then name and it has stuck. The nice thing is they can be filled and fit with a lid and thrown to the back of the van.
  


• Another motto that we came up with last night was "eat it or wear it." I had just filled tram bowls and Hannah said, "I don't like animal crackers, can I have almonds and cranberries instead." Not sure what to do with the full tram bowl of crackers I just tossed it over my head and all over sweet Hannah. Whoooo, that was good for about a 15 minute laugh. Anything that helps pass 15 minutes of a 12 hour car trip laughing is well worth the mess.
• You must celebrate at any and all state line crossings. On this trip we crossed lots of state lines--FL, GA, SC, NC, VA, West VA, OH, IN, and IL. At every state line we screamed, hollered, and tooted (the horn that is). When there was a baby sleeping we did this celebrating a little more quietly.
• Celebrate BIG when you cross back into your home state. When we crossed into Florida at sunset we pulled the van over and Shelly and I got out and ran around screaming and beating on the car windows and acting like the crazy women that we are. You can see Shelly's arms and the welcome sign in this picture but it was too dark to see her thrilled expression. The sign behind her says, "Emergency Stopping Only, Photo Opportunity at the rest area ahead." Oops.
  

I hope you are able to glean some valuable information from our experience. We are all stronger women because of this trip. :0)