Letting Some Balls Drop--the Ones That Will Bounce

I am a very ambitious person. I have so many things that I want to do and truly planned to do and soon (until tonight that is) --For example:

• I have 6 books on my nightstand and I really hope to read them all before they are due at the library.
• I have a puzzle going on a card table in the living room, I've only succeeded at getting the edges done so far. They've been done since Thursday.
• I have a box full of a month or two's worth of pictures just waiting to be scrapbooked.
• I have a quilt top and the fabric to finish it and high hopes of doing it.
• I have a HUGE to-do list for school this week.
• I have some seeds to plant and Grace asks me about them every other day.
• I am learning to knit and am halfway into my third washcloth--I've finally learned how to perl!

I think that's everything that I have going at the moment. Pretty crazy huh? Pretty ridiculous huh? If you notice, that list doesn't include cleaning my house, preparing meals, or spending time with my husband. Until tonight I really thought I could do all this, not today, or this week but in the next few weeks. No wonder I am more stressed out than I've ever been in my life. What is my problem??? God is working on me in this area. Just last week in church Pastor Doug was talking about how Paul didn't have an easy, perfect life but he had joy anyway because he sought to please God. I've been putting a lot of effort in to pleasing myself thinking it would lead to joy and calm and peace. I do puzzles because it helps me relax and helps my brain stop thinking about everything I need to do. I read as another escape at bedtime--again it clears my brain so I can sleep. I have a hard time being satisfied or content at the end of the day if I have nothing to show for my day. That's part of the reason I scrapbook, quilt, knit, etc. Don't get me wrong here--none of these things are bad in and of themselves. In fact, all are good things but the problem is I am trying to do too much at once and it's taking me away from the BEST thing--time with God and my family. I was reading tonight while I laid down with Joe (yes, he's five and I still lay down with him most nights--shutup :0)). The book I'm reading is a compilation of various stories--kind of like the Chicken Soup books but more encouraging and scriptural. So anyway--this really hit me and spoke to me and (I hope) changed me--

"Every woman juggles many things, now some of the balls we juggle are rubber--they can be dropped and will bounce back at a better, later time in our lives. However, some of the balls we are juggling are crystal. Delicate, priceless balls, they cannot be dropped and picked up later on. They break quite easily. Our children are those magnificent balls. Please don't drop them during the years they are in your care; let the bounce-back kind go instead. Yes! A woman can have it all--she just can't have it all at once. There are times and seasons in a woman's life. The years spent raising kids are a small fraction of your lifetime."

Most of the balls I am juggling are rubber ones and I'm being careless with my crystal balls. I went a whole day today and only spent about an hour with my kids. I was busy. Busy shopping, sleeping, reading, cooking, cleaning, and organizing. At the end of the day I can think of so many ways I could have included them or just stopped for a while and played a game. I have been convicted. I am chasing after things that are worthless. They may give me peace and calm and even joy for the moment but mean nothing in the realm of eternity. If I spend my time pleasing my Heavenly Father I will have joy abundantly. I can still do a puzzle, read a book, make a quilt, scrapbook, and knit a washcloth but in moderation. These are rubber balls that will bounce. All these things will keep and I will have more than enough time to do all of that and more in just a few short years. Right now I need to ENJOY these kids and this time I have with them.